Another little muslimah......

 

                                                          Salsabeel Sakeenah Ibrahim

                              arrived on 16th January 2016 @ 12.37am weighing a whopping 4kgs.
                                                                         

The past few weeks seem to have flown by as we have been recovering from the whole birth and its aftermath, welcoming the presence of a new family member and just trying to get out of pregnancy mode and back into the swing of things. 

 

The girls are still adjusting to having a baby sister. One minute they are all over her and wanting to pick her and dress her and then the next minute sibling rivalry and jealousy kicks in.

 

Alhamdulillah I have recovered from the labour...well physically anyway.  Mentally i'm still getting to grips with the realisation that I now have 4 children who I am responsible and accountable for.

 

I look at them and am still trying to figure out how i'm going to do all this, how am I to raise them, nurture them, educate them, protect them......and just generally be a great mother to them.  Sometimes the thought overwhelms me and sometimes I already feel defeated and exhausted. And then I always find hope.  I know Allah swt does not place upon us more than what we can bear and I know I can only get through this with turning to him, Allah swt.

 

 

Recently I have been reading and thinking about duas.  Duas are our link to Allah swt.  An affirmation of his existence, his power and mercy.  An acceptance of our lowliness, dependence and weaknesses.

 

When throughout my pregnancy I lay in bed depressed that I could not do anything, I realised I could in fact achieve so much through just laying there and making duas.

 

In late pregnancy when my bump got heavier and the waiting just dragged I used the time to make duas.  In fact during all my pregnancies I have tried to read salatul tasbih with my hubby and set aside time to make special duas for the delivery and for the child about to enter our family. 

 

And before going into labour I had people requesting duas.  It was almost like preparing for hajj where I almost made a mental list of all the things I wanted to pray for and all the people I had to remember to pray for also.

 

During my labour there was a point when it was getting really intense and I felt I couldn't take it anymore.  My hubby reminded me that I had yet to make duas for him and our daughters and subhanAllah it made such a difference.  I felt somewhat energised again and using that time to make duas helped me to refocus and carry on riding out the contractions and pain.

 

So now that i'm trying to get back to some sense of post partum normality I need to remember that Allah swt is there to help me get through it all.  That I can make dua; turning to him with every little thing and every major thing whether it be as simple as help in putting baby to sleep or bigger things like our homeschooling, finances or family matters.  

 

And I need not wait for major events like hajj, umrah, ramadhan or pregnancy to make duas.  As well as utilizing the special times when duas are answered such as in sujood, when it rains, whilst travelling, on Fridays, etc I can and must make sincere, heartfelt duas anytime of the day, everday insha'allah.

 

"Whoever wishes that Allah responds to his Dua at a time of hardship, then let him increase his Dua at times of ease" (Tirmidhi)

Almost 9 months later.......and still waiting!!

It has been almost 9 whole months since I last blogged on here.   A lot can happen in 9 months and a lot has happened..............

Yes, Alhamdulillah I am Pregnant with blessing number 4 Insha'Allah.

I am now 39+3 weeks and here I am again, whilst trying to relax and prepare myself for the birth I thought I would rejuvenate this special, calm space of mine to help me get through these next few weeks and beyond.


It has been a long, hard 9 months.  Some people say Pregnancy, house moves and weddings are of the most stressful things in life.   Well through this pregnancy we've had another house move, a family wedding  and everything else!!! 

Alhamdulillah we got through. 

Ramadhan came and went and I was sick and depressed throughout most of it - but masha'allah hubby and kids did really well managing without me.  The girls have been very patient and tried to get on with things.  They have become very independent in their learning and in day to day life.

Obviously there's things that need to be directed and as a result of that a lot has been neglected but they really surprise me when they will just pick up maths books one day and teach themselves, another day Nur will be reading away and enjoying it and Rahmah pretty much organises her own timetable with the activities she wants to do - and of course plenty of breaks!!!  My little Fifi has also grown so much and has learnt a lot from her sisters - she loves doing her numbers work and is beginning to get to grips with the alphabet and phonics.

Rahmah and Nur are also a lot more confident in the kitchen now - Nur especially has no problems with cups of tea, coffee and hot chocolate.  She loves to fry eggs for breakfast and yesterday she insisted in making the parathas even though she got quite hot whilst doing it.  It was lovely when she said to me "mum you sit down, you've got a baby inside you and you need to rest.  let me do the cooking"!!!  I keep telling hubby that if anything were to happen to me she will be the "umm al Abi", mother of her father,  just like the Prophet (saw)'s daughter Faatimah (ra) came to be known when she looked after her father after Khadijah (ra) passed away.

9 Months is quite a long time, especially for children and we've had to learn to be patient, all of us.    These last few weeks are proving to be pretty hard, not just because they're the last few weeks but I've had an added stress related to sorting out my plans for home birth.  Just waiting around and then waiting some more for things to happen.  I had a hospital appointment the other week and we all had to go - it was really hard on the girls just sitting around in those waiting rooms for over an hour before I could be seen. 

Social media means I've been in touch with other pregnant mothers, many who are also due around the same time as me.  It's been interesting talking to each other about our experiences and sharing tips etc.  I have learnt of all the 'old wives tales' of how to speed things up and bring labour on etc.  And yes....I have tried some of them - maybe not so much to speed things up but just to make me feel better that I'm doing something.

Ultimately I have been trying to reassure my sisters and myself that they need to relax,  make duas and turn to Allah (swt).  Our ajal - our lifespan has already been determined for us so when a new life will be born and when a life will come to an end has already been determined and fixed.  Yet we are so impatient and erratic.  In fact, on Wednesday I was so desperate to give birth that night - I scrubbed the kitchen clean and cooked a few dishes hoping for something to happen.  Obviously I had made loads of duas as well.  Thursday morning I woke up as usual a little disappointed as still nothing had happened   But then I realised just how fickle us humans can be, because on Thursday I was in a total different frame of mind and realised it was probably best that nothing had happened on Wednesday. 

Alhamdulillah Allah (swt) has blessed us with things which are beyond our control and we need not worry about.  And Alhamdulillah again, that Allah swt has blessed us with the guidance of  shariah for surely we are not capable of deciding by our limited minds and erratic emotions, what is best for us and when.  And though we may not know it, feel it or even accept it at the time, Allah always knows what's best for us. 

Pregnancy is a special time for a muslimah because Allah swt has placed many blessings and reward in it.  And although yes it is difficult and society all around us encourages us to focus on our own selfish experience and sufferings and when it will come to a natural end, as muslimahs we need to be more patient, we must think of Allah swt and the akhirah.  

A friend of mine shared a beautiful video with me the other day and Alhamdulillah it was just what was needed. I think I will watch this video during these last few days to calm me down when I get a bit impatient and share it with my other pregnant sisters as well.

Sadaqah Jaariyah (continous reward)

The Prophet (saaw) said:

“Never a Muslim plants a tree, but he has the reward of charity for him; for what is eaten out of that is charity, what is stolen out of that, what the beasts eat out of that, what the birds eat out of that, is charity for him.” [Bukhari]

Today I talked to the children about the awesome concept of sadaqah jaariyah as we drove to our tree planting session.

How awesome is this concept and how merciful is Allah (swt) that there are actions which we will still be rewarded for well after the action is done and maybe even well after we have left this earth!!!


Tree planting is something Iwould definitely like to do again and it's something i'd definitely recommend others to do with their children aswell.

As you can see we had loads of fun.

The girls found this interesting looking branch and we were told it has what's called 'coral fungi' growing on it.

Fifi obviously didn't do much digging but she had a go.  She also became very friendly with some worms we pulled out.


                                                
        

 

 

This is a crab apple tree that she helped to plant. We named it 'Fifi', after her which she got all excited about.

 

The Prophet (saaw) said:

 

"The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind quietens down, the plant becomes straight again..." [ Bukhari] 

 



We are living in difficult times.  I pray that Allah (swt) enables our tender, innocent children to remain upright in the face of every trial and challenges they may encounter. Ameen

Den Building and the Shade of Allah

Today we ventured out for another forest school session where the activities surrounded around making dens in the woodlands.

It took us a while to get started as we have never really done anything like this before and to be honest I wished my hubby or brother or even my sis in law and her kids were there to help.  But Alhamdulillah the girls got to work and eventually got into the swing of things.

We first made a little frame to hang in our den and then went off to make the actual den.

Nur really enjoyed it in the woods, collecting all the branches and logs and bringing them back to me. 

 

Fifi was in charge of carrying the first aid box up to the woodlands and then didn't want to put it down at first.  I think she liked the thought of being doctor for the day and wanted to put plasters on everyone.  Later she too got into it and kept guard in our den and even played with some of the branches.

 

Later as I tucked the girls into bed I asked them " what are dens used for and why do people build them?  they answered with the expected answers "to have a picnic in", "to hide away", "to be safe", and "to get shelter from rain".

I then asked them "on what day would we need to have the most shelter" and they answered with things like "on a really snowy day", "a really rainy day"

Finally when I prompted them to think of a really important day Rahmah shouted "judgement day".

We then had the discussion about what judgement is, what will happen on that day and how on that day our dens and our shelter will need to be so strong to protect us from the hellfire.  We then talked about how we can make sure we have the protection and shade of Allah on that day.

I had been thinking of the hadith which talks about the shade of Allah all afternoon after returning home and I thought it would be really good to discuss this with the girls.

One thing I love about home educating is being able to share these experiences with my children, learning with them and then being able to link everything back to Allah swt and Islam.  Whilst the society we live in wants to take Allah out of the equation for everything us parents have that duty to constantly and creatively build our children's connection to Allah, love for him and love of that which will bring us closer to him and his jannah.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to continue this discussion and look at the other details of the hadith so we know how to secure the strongest protection and the best shade on the day when it matters most.

 

There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques;two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; aman who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but he says: ‘I fear Allah’, a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allah in private and so his eyes shed tears.

[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

 

Frog Marching!

 Today I took the girls on a march of a different kind - a frog march!!

It was organised by the rangers in one of the parks and basically involved a lovely, long (well very long) walk.  We walked through the vast woodlands in the park, moving from pond to pond looking out for frogspawn and frogs.

Masha'allah the girls did so well.  Fifi walked all the way and only asked to be picked up a few times.  The others in the group were ven impressed with her, especially when they found out she's just 2 years old.

Nur on the other hand did complain. 

She complained of the walking, of the mud and of the bushes in her way as she walked!! 

I'm hoping more outdoor activities like this will actually build her resilience to these things.  I'm sure deep down she does enjoy it, being out in the fresh air even if she does look forward to another episode of Peter Rabbit when she gets back.

In the next few days i'm going to be getting organised for these excursions which means buying another backpack and maybe some wellies, what do you think?

(By the way the odd colour socks are a happy compromise that was reached after fighting over which colour socks to wear whilst getting changed in the morning - I was impressed!!)

'Out and About' Forrest School

I have been trying to find a suitable forrest school for the girls for a while but nothing had quite materialised for me.  When I heard of a new forrest school starting up near us and it being FREE it was like duas being answered.

The lovely spring weather has just begun and insha'allah I am looking forward to spending time outdoors with the girls, enjoying the sunshine, fresh air and learning about Allah's creations.

This is what we got upto in our first session:

Hunting for shades of green:

An excellent activity just running around the garden, looking at the different plants and textures and different shades of the colour green.  The kids loved being able to pull off pieces of leaves and stick them on their cards.

Pond Dipping (or Fishing in the pond as my kids called it):

        

 

We caught a massive rams horn snail:

 and many other little beasties in here........

We also had a go at some willow weaving follwed by a picnic,play in the park and a snooze in the car on the way home!!!

Fifi keeps talking about how she went fishing in the pond but couldn't play on the slide because it was too big for her.

                                               Looking forward to the next session.

Lemon and Blueberry cake

The girls' grandparents bought them some fruit the other day, including blueberries so we thought we'd make this really easy cake.

 

The girls love baking and i'm trying to teach them how to prepare, read recipes, follow instructions and of course tidy up afterwards!!

Today I also taught them how to serve guests and share with others. Granny and Grandad happened to drop by and therefore joined us for tea and cake. The remainder of the cake was shared with our neighbours and an uncle they went to visit later in the afternoon.

Serving others is something which I really want to improve on both in myself and the children.

Society today is very individualistic, we are encouraged to just look out for ourselves and our needs above others. Even when others are involved, there are too many ulterior motives which get in the way.  We are surrounded by an attitude of just helping others when it suits us, when we feel like it, when it's convenient for us rather than when it is actually needed.

Then there's the whole 'scratch my back and i'll scratch yours' mentality where serving others is like an exchange for some benefit which may come to us, whether that be in terms of material goods, brownie points or something else.

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) was sent as a mercy to mankind.  Within his example we have many examples of how the Prophet served others, whether it be sharing food with them, visiting the sick, helping them in their time of need, advising them, consoling them, praying for them, removing from them the harm of tyranny and oppression etc.  All purely for the pleasure of Allah and no other purpose.

Imam Ghazali (may God be pleased with him), specified three levels of helping others: not being a source of harm to others, forgiving them their faults and the third level is being of service to them.

In the coming weeks I am going to be looking into ways of building this in the children and also refining this within myself.  I am going to be exploring things we can get involved in and make a regular habit of such actions so that serving others becomes a norm rather than an exception.

In the meantime I think there'll definitely be more cakes and baked goodies to go around....